alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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