there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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