We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
