Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
