I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
