I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
