Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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