Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I understand Curling. That high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
