His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
