Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
