I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
