Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize