this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
