She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
