I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
barbara walters just said penis...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
