ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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