I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
