Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize