No awkward lesbian experiences without me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
