I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
