i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
