Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
