We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
