lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
