he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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