ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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