I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His hands were made for my vagina.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
