After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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