Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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