ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
