dude i'm inner monologue high
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
