North Korea, Best Korea!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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