I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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