she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
