How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
