Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
