Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize