Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
