"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
