ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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