i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
