I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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