There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
