just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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