i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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