Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death

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(310): View more from California

I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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(205): View more from Alabama

Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?

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(972): View more from Texas

85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...

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(308): View more from Nebraska

And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?

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(516): View more from New York

ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok

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(236): View more from

I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.

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