brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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