I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
