just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
