I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
