Sorry, I don't speak sober.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
