Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Everything about him screamed your future.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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