Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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