remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
