After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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