Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
